I've been told that I have a way with words. That may or may not be true, but what I have is passion. I love music. I don't love *all* music, but then again, who does? That's why everyone's tastes are unique. I have my tastes, and while I don't try to push them on others, I will definitely attempt to introduce people to music they may not have heard. That's...sort of the point of this blog. Here is where I will not only talk about my life, but the music that influences it and impacts it. Perhaps you'll leave here with more than you came with, perhaps not. We'll see :)
Have you ever noticed that you tend to like certain types of music more or less depending on your mood? For instance, say you really enjoy fast paced electronic music, and you also really enjoy slower, emotional, melodic music. But you don't enjoy both at the same time. What decides? I think life experiences decide. Tonight I had a rather large shock when I realized (finally!) that the guy I was into was more into getting in my pants (and they didn't have to be my pants, he would be fine getting into anyone's pants, I just happened to be the "easiest", I guess) than getting into my good graces. I left with my dignity intact, and found that a certain song really helped me feel better.
Oh, by the way, my post titles should typically include the name of the song I am talking about in that post, or the artist, or the album. It's all referenced.
So as I was saying, "Kill" really helped me feel better. Perhaps it is trite or whatever to feel emotional to Jimmy Eat World of all groups, but regardless...I felt better. If you've never listened to Jimmy Eat World, I wouldn't necessarily start with "Kill", but it is definitely a great song to listen to when your spirits are down. Jim Adkins, the singer, has the perfect amount of conviction and heartache whenever he sings. It feels like he feels my pain. Perhaps that is why they are sometimes looked at as the quintessential "emo" band, even though "emo" as a genre label is a little wrong. Here's a little "emo" history for you. "Emo" began it's life in the mid-80's in Washington D.C. with groups like Rights of Spring and Embrace. This early incarnation was actually referred to as "emocore", a blend of emotional and hardcore music styles. It wasn't until the 90's, with groups like Fugazi and Sunny Day Real Estate that the term began to move from hardcore to indie rock. Now, we pretty much take "emo" as droopy-eyed boys wearing black and tight, feminine pants, singing gloomily about their life and contemplating swallowing a bunch of pills. While listening to Jimmy Eat World. I don't wear tight pants like that, I haven't had the urge to swallow pills. I don't fit the "emo" scene. But I do appreciate good music for what it is, and Jimmy Eat World is good music.
So I'm sitting here, listening to this song that I've always enjoyed but never really listened to, thinking about my night. I came to a realization that made me smile a bit. I said "No". I've always had a problem saying "No" to guys who seemed interested in me and wanted things from me sexually. I didn't want to disappoint them or have anyone look at me as if I was less for voicing an opinion. I hung out with this guy thinking I had made myself clear that I didn't want any funny business. The first time he tried, I stopped him. I told him I didn't come over for any of that. Later, he kissed me, we began to make out. He took off my shirts, and led me to his bedroom, where he stripped. I removed my pants and began to kiss him some more, thinking to myself, "Why are you doing this? You don't want to be here." I told him I didn't come for this. I put my clothes on and left. I was quite proud of myself for that. The realization that I've grown is great. I am beyond caring what another thinks of me when my wishes have been violated. If someone doesn't respect me enough to see beyond their own selfish, bodily desires, then they don't respect me at all. That isn't someone I need.
I sit, listening to "Kill". The guitars are pretty. The song is soothing. Again and again, as it plays, I am awash in the emotive notes Jim Adkins is singing to me. And I find it interesting how this song parallels my night. How this guy experienced something similar, a night where he, possibly, found he couldn't say "No". A night that could have been mine. This song is inspiring. It makes me glad that I am me, and not someone else. It makes me glad that I have grown above giving into others to avoid being less. Because giving in is what MAKES me less. I am more, and I will always be more, than the people who plague those who feel they are less. That is the reality. That is the truth. "Got to take what you can these days/There's so much ahead"
Have you ever noticed that you tend to like certain types of music more or less depending on your mood? For instance, say you really enjoy fast paced electronic music, and you also really enjoy slower, emotional, melodic music. But you don't enjoy both at the same time. What decides? I think life experiences decide. Tonight I had a rather large shock when I realized (finally!) that the guy I was into was more into getting in my pants (and they didn't have to be my pants, he would be fine getting into anyone's pants, I just happened to be the "easiest", I guess) than getting into my good graces. I left with my dignity intact, and found that a certain song really helped me feel better.
Oh, by the way, my post titles should typically include the name of the song I am talking about in that post, or the artist, or the album. It's all referenced.
So as I was saying, "Kill" really helped me feel better. Perhaps it is trite or whatever to feel emotional to Jimmy Eat World of all groups, but regardless...I felt better. If you've never listened to Jimmy Eat World, I wouldn't necessarily start with "Kill", but it is definitely a great song to listen to when your spirits are down. Jim Adkins, the singer, has the perfect amount of conviction and heartache whenever he sings. It feels like he feels my pain. Perhaps that is why they are sometimes looked at as the quintessential "emo" band, even though "emo" as a genre label is a little wrong. Here's a little "emo" history for you. "Emo" began it's life in the mid-80's in Washington D.C. with groups like Rights of Spring and Embrace. This early incarnation was actually referred to as "emocore", a blend of emotional and hardcore music styles. It wasn't until the 90's, with groups like Fugazi and Sunny Day Real Estate that the term began to move from hardcore to indie rock. Now, we pretty much take "emo" as droopy-eyed boys wearing black and tight, feminine pants, singing gloomily about their life and contemplating swallowing a bunch of pills. While listening to Jimmy Eat World. I don't wear tight pants like that, I haven't had the urge to swallow pills. I don't fit the "emo" scene. But I do appreciate good music for what it is, and Jimmy Eat World is good music.
So I'm sitting here, listening to this song that I've always enjoyed but never really listened to, thinking about my night. I came to a realization that made me smile a bit. I said "No". I've always had a problem saying "No" to guys who seemed interested in me and wanted things from me sexually. I didn't want to disappoint them or have anyone look at me as if I was less for voicing an opinion. I hung out with this guy thinking I had made myself clear that I didn't want any funny business. The first time he tried, I stopped him. I told him I didn't come over for any of that. Later, he kissed me, we began to make out. He took off my shirts, and led me to his bedroom, where he stripped. I removed my pants and began to kiss him some more, thinking to myself, "Why are you doing this? You don't want to be here." I told him I didn't come for this. I put my clothes on and left. I was quite proud of myself for that. The realization that I've grown is great. I am beyond caring what another thinks of me when my wishes have been violated. If someone doesn't respect me enough to see beyond their own selfish, bodily desires, then they don't respect me at all. That isn't someone I need.
I sit, listening to "Kill". The guitars are pretty. The song is soothing. Again and again, as it plays, I am awash in the emotive notes Jim Adkins is singing to me. And I find it interesting how this song parallels my night. How this guy experienced something similar, a night where he, possibly, found he couldn't say "No". A night that could have been mine. This song is inspiring. It makes me glad that I am me, and not someone else. It makes me glad that I have grown above giving into others to avoid being less. Because giving in is what MAKES me less. I am more, and I will always be more, than the people who plague those who feel they are less. That is the reality. That is the truth. "Got to take what you can these days/There's so much ahead"
